Well, how would you feel?

Poor old Aaron thought he was going to Stoke......

Eight facts

This Chelsea phenomenon is very peculiar.


It is now ten years since Abrahamovic took over, purchasing the club with a total investment of approx £140 million. With their success last night, they have now won eleven trophies in that period, including the Champions League and the Premiership three times. This is an admirable record, despite all the begrudgery.

Fact 1 – money can buy success.

Looking a little further back, it the ten years preceding Abrahamovic’s involvement, they won four trophies – more than Spurs, Everton and Leeds on a combined basis for the same period (Everton – one FA Cup; Spurs - one League Cup). Their victories in this period included the European Cup Winners Cup.

Fact 2 – some of the groundwork was done by the earlier owners and management.

Fact 3 – Chelsea have lorded it over the rest of us for longer than we might want to admit. Our criticism of them buying success may not have deep foundations.

Last night they won the Europa League, a competition they unilaterally derided a few months back, before they were ignominiously dumped into it by Juventus and Shaktar Donetz, two of the current powerhouses in European football. If they claim following yesterday’s victory that they are the first club to hold both European trophies at the same time, they are overlooking the fact that they are also the first Champions League winners to end their defence before the knock-out stages.

Fact 4 – they only sing when they’re winning. Once a meaningless competition, the Europa League now has them swinging from the crossbars.

Fact 5 – Spurs went out of the Europa League in the quarter-finals and Everton didn’t qualify.

Let’s then look at their management, and focus on Chelsea’s infatuation with Mourinho and vice versa. On his part, I suspect the loyalty is to Abramamovic’s billions (on the basis that he’s easily parted with portions of it) and not to the investment bankers who block-book the seats at Stamford Bridge.

But what of the supporters belief that no-one else can do the managerial job for them? Shades of the adoration Fergie has at United but built upon 39 months engagement rather than 312. Since Mourinho left - less than six years ago - there have been eight managers if we include Butch Wilkins who took charge for one game. And we know what happened to him.

Fact 6 – neither loyalty nor patience are a prevalent trait at Chelsea.

There is no doubt that Mourinho did well during his first period there but in reality how well?

To analyse this I assign points to the winning of various trophies and games as follows:

Winning the Champions League - 50 points

Winning the Premier League - 30 points

Wining the Europa League - 20

Wining the FA Cup - 10 points

Winning the League Cup - 7 points

Winning a Premiership game - 3 points

Drawing a Premiership game - 1 point

We then apply that to the remaining seven Chelsea managers and the following league table emerges:

Manager - games in charge – points for CL - points for PL - points for EL - points for FAC - points for LC - points for league wins - points for league draws

De Matteo - 42 - 50 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 10 - 0 - 72 - 9 Total 141 average per game 3.35

Mourinho - 185 0 - 60 - 0 - 10 - 7 - 372 - 40 Total - 489 - average per game 2.65

Hiddink 22 0 - 0 - 0 - 10 - 0 - 48 - 5 Total 53 average per game 2.40

Benitez 48 0 - 0 - 20 - 0 - 0 - 81 - 10 Total 111 average per game 2.31

Ancelloti 109 - 0 - 30 - 0 - 10 - 0 - 201 - 20 - Total 251 average per game 2.30

Grant 54 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 108 - 13 Total 121 average per game 2.24

Scholari 36 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 60 - 11 Total 71 average per game 1.97

Villa-Boas 40 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 57 - 11 Total 68 average per game 1.7

Thus Roberto de Matteo is Chelsea’s most successful manager or - if the credit for the Champions League win is allocated over a complete season - AVB might lift himself off the bottom of the table.

Fact 7 – Jose Mourinho’s record as Chelsea manager is not significantly better than that for others who succeeded him and is bettered by Roberto de Matteo.

Fact 8 – While Chelsea continually want more from their managers, Spurs appear to be willing to settle for mediocrity. Spurs have spent this season giving credit to AVB for what he has achieved (and this included two manager of the month awards) and his record is essentially the same as what he got canned for at Chelsea.

AVB at Chelsea 40 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 57 - 11 Total 68 average per game 1.7

AVB at Spurs 53 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 78 - 16 Total 94 average per game 1.77

Irrespective of my irrelevant argument and logic, the Special One will come marching into the Bridge one day very soon and the Chelsea fans will smile again. It is opportune that it will occur at a time when Manyoo and ManCitee will also have new managers – Mourinho might be able to capitalise on the upheaval at the Manchester clubs and push Chelsea back into the position their money deserves.

Surely jumping up and down about the Europa League shouldn't be keeping a club like this happy for too long.

Scariest Christmas picture 2013

I'm sure the Liverpool players, including Luis Suarez, meant well on their hospital visit.

One nil, and we fucked it up....

Toffees put Southern Softies to Sword

More photos from the weekend to come but for now just the one - Jelavic's goal in the 93rd minute which sealed victory for the Blues.  Ground open up and swallow me.

Progress report - everyone is on the credit list so far

The 1st of October and the serious stuff is starting. We are now on the run-in.

Top marks to David Moyes and the Everton boys – it eventually looks as though you are going to mount a serious challenge for a Champions League / Top 6 spot (delete one as appropriate). Jelavic looks to have been a quality buy and the air of confidence floating around Goodison may be self-fulfilling. Maybe their early exit from the League Cup will actually work in their favour.

AVB at Spurs has moved from being the unwanted man to the enigma, with very few of us knowing what he is truly capable of. A stunning win at Old Trafford answers some of the critics but there remain serious doubts as to his style of play and his ability to get the players to execute on it. A few shrewd buys (Dembele and Vertonghen catch the eye) have masked the departure of Modric well.

Chelsea move on with monotonous intent. And why not – aren’t they Champions of Europe? Saturday’s win at Goonerland was the first real challenge they have had nevertheless and it remains to be seen how they fare when the going gets tougher. October 20 at the Lane should be interesting. Despite any doubts we may have, the destiny of the League must surely be a matter between themselves and City.

Leeds – great win over Everton and it does not appear as though they’re letting the Cup run (?) distract them from the bread and butter of the Championship. Silly results like losing at home to Hull need to be eradicated but Warnock still appears to have the nous to get them back up to the top level. It’s been such a long time.

                      

Let's ramp it up, team.

White boots you poof ........

Alan's sponsorship deal with Hummel didn't go down too well with Billy Bremner.   

In reality it didn't turn out to be tto lucratve for Ball either as he subsequently revealed:

"To be honest they were crap, like cardboard, so I got the young apprentices to paint my Adidas football boots white. It was great, till one day it rained and the black came through. A not too happy watching Hummel rep saw what I’d done so I said goodbye to the two grand.”

Here we go again

A few games into the Premiership and plaudits to Moyes and his bunch of journeymen at Goodison.  Two tremendous results reverses their normal early season form and must surely give them the confidence to push on and aim for a top six finish.

Good start for Leeds as welll, in a season which is likely to be challenging, if only because of the number of evenly matched teams in the Championship.  Play-offs beckon.

Poor start for Spurs and the unrest over AVB commences.  More modest sights have been set at the Lane than in pror years.  Will we finish above previously mediocre teams like Everton?

And finaly another good start for Chelski although not the hardest set of fixtures.  Closer inspection to come although if Torres keeps his shooting boots on maybe anything is possible.

How about this?

1. Man City
2. Chelsea
3. Man United
4. Arsenal
5. Liverpool
6. Newcastle
7. Spurs
8. Everton

Auf Wiedersehen, Pet

Dear Tim

So you are leaving us. There is something you should know before you go to pastures new. Firstly I am normally very unforgiving of any player who gives up, on his own volition, the opportunity to wear the Everton shirt. Secondly and thinking back to your arrival on Merseyside, I was not your biggest fan. A “Socceroo” from Milwall did not, to put it mildly, get my juices flowing. Getting sent off in your first game, albeit for over celebrating a goal against Man Utd, only confirmed my fears that you would be a one season disaster best suited to scrapping against Southend rather then gracing the “Old Lady”.

Not sure when my views changed. Cannot recall if it was a gradual appreciation of if it happened all of a sudden. Maybe it was the derby game against Liverpool as you pummeled the corner flag having scored the equalizer. Or was it when I saw you in the stand at Goodison with your two young boys watching Everton v Sunderland when you were injured. The over-head goal at Stamford Bridge that had my Chelsea loving mate close to tears. It does not really matter when or how and I want to keep this short and to the point because I am in danger of dropping a few tears myself. The point is this. Thank you. Thanks for the 68 goals. For your never say die spirit. For your love of and dedication to our football club. For being a true and honest professional. For being one of us.

Wishing you and your family much success and happiness in New York. Hope those corner flags have been prepared for your arrival.

Sincerely

Brusselsblue

Dear Ledley,

So you are leaving us. Or should I say you’re leaving us in a playing capacity, yet thankfully staying as a Spurs ambassador, and as an inspiration to those who believe football still attracts people who value the principles of loyalty and commitment.

In fifteen years at Spurs you only got to play 315 times (an average of 21 a season) and you have only one winners and two runners up medals (all in the Carling Cup) to show for your endeavors. But behind those statistics lies the true story.

You committed your playing career to our club and every time you played you were an inspiration to everyone else wearing the shirt, whether on or off the field. Your well-publicized dicky knee never stopped you demonstrating how good you were – incomparable in the Premiership, even in the presence of stalwarts such as Terry, Ferdinand and the like. Not fit to lace your boots, not one of them.

You came as another left – Sol Campbell – and you gave us back everything he took away. You were honest, truthful, and you expressed gratitude for the chance our club gave you. "I have been here since I was a boy, I have always considered it my club and have always found it hard to imagine myself wearing the shirt of another team" – your words will ensure you are revered at White Hart Lane for centuries to come.

Ledley, we know you could easily have chosen to drop down a division and play out a few more years in the Endsleigh League or equivalent. Go through the motions and collect the wages in the easiest manner possible. Then drift into management on the basis that if you were that good on the pitch, you must know a bit about management.

But no, you chose to assume an ambassadorial role at Spurs and work on local community liaison. How fitting a choice. In an area devoid of role models, where social dysfunctionality is the norm, football can inspire and your involvement will surely lead to a greater hope for a lot of kids. Well done, my son, you made the right choice again.

Thanks for the memories.

Yiddo.

Dear Didier,

So you are leaving us.   You big fat greedy prick, you’ve buggered off to China to line your pockets with more money and to kiss the shirt of the Hzechuan Province, or whomever else you’re pledging allegiance to for the next few years.

I hope you fucking choke on the first egg fried rice to pass down your greasy windpipe.

Best regards,

Chelski

Everton 4 Fulham 0

Ten short years

And what of Everton this week? An abject performance against Liverpool and further proof that they appear to be able to do everyone a favour except themselves. Victories against City, Chelsea and Spurs are laudable but must be viewed in tandem with countless derby failures over the years and poor results against weaker teams - this season home defeats to QPR, Bolton and Stoke and draws against Blackburn and Norwich have cost them 13 points. Thirteen points would put them above Chelsea and in Champions League contention.

And then there's the debate about Moyes and his future at the club after ten years. Rumour suggests Spurs are likely to come knocking once Harry follows the yellow brick road. Does Moyes want to aim for something higher or is he afraid of a challenge which no longer has the excuse trapdoor of "no funds available".

His coaching style is apparently totally contrary to Redknapp's, focusing on discipline and rigidity in structure. Harry as we've seen with Bale and Van der Vaart prefers to allow his players greater flexibility in where they go and, as evidenced by his continuous decisions to play Modric out of position, expects the players to be able to adapt to the situations evolving around them. Moyes is regimented, Harry flamboyant and I'm not talking here about paying taxes.

I have to think that Moyes to Spurs would be a bad match for both parties - Moyes is too honest and genuine a man for Spurs, and Spurs are too good a footballing organisation for Moyes. Neither deserve each other. Hopefully sense will prevail.

Spurs 1 Wolves 1

One hundred years ago today - Scott of the Antarctic and his four colleagues reach the South Pole and have their dreams and ambitions devastatingly shattered.

The solitary frozen tent with the small unmoving Norwegian flag atop, stood as testimony to the fact that he had been beaten to the South Pole by Amundsen, the Norwegian explorer.
















We took risks, we knew we took them; things have come out against us, and therefore we have no cause for complaint, but bow to the will of Providence, determined still to do our best to the last. Had we lived, I should have had a tale to tell of the hardihood, endurance, and courage of my companions which would have stirred the heart of every Englishman.

These rough notes and our dead bodies must tell the tale, but surely, surely, a great rich country like ours will see that those who are dependent on us are properly provided for ............

For my own sake I do not regret this journey, which has shown that Englishmen can endure hardships, help one another, and meet death with as great a fortitude as ever in the past.

In failure, and despite all the conjecture over his real persona - brave adventurer or reckless buffoon - Scott remains as one of the enduring heroes in English history. Battling against the odds with fortitude and bravery and facing death with stoic resilience, dignified acceptance and a still upper lip. While our own Tom Crean was tucked up in his pub in Annascaul sucking on a pint of plain and telling jokes about the penguins.
















So when at 17:38pm I receive an email lamenting “Poor old Ian. You have to be beating wolves at home if you want to be in with the big boys.” I think not of today but of one hundred years ago, of valiantly giving it all yet not succeeding; of what might have been and what yet might be; and ultimately I think of the misery of languishing in mid-table never coming close to achieving greatness and never paying the ultimate price for trying and failing. Everton in the twenty-first century.

Vertigo - January 11th, 2012

Chelski's observations that we should at this stage be suffering from Vertigo are beginning to gain creedance as evidenced by a comparison of Aaron Lennon's pose in the top exhibit and Jimmy Stewart's in the second.

Remarkably similar.

Incidentally the guy in blue facing the camera in the top picture is Tim Cahill, who used to play for Everton. Sadly not any more it would appear.

Seen out and about

"It is an absolute privilege to be going out with someone who is likely to play a pivotal role in the future of this great club. I believe Lucia's father has a shedload of cash which he is going to invest so that the club can continue to pay my modest wages. I would prefer however of he gave it to me direct, as I shun, and at times despise, the behaviour of these modern-day football agents with their 10% for negotiations and advice"

Marouane Fellaini, January 2012.

Everton hold Birmingham to draw at home

Every beaver has its' day

Brusselsblue:

On Saturday the Chelsea supporters posed an interesting and valid question. It was raised shortly after their magnificent Captain with a lovely girl friend had given them a 1 - 0 lead in the 4th round of the FA Cup. The question they posed (repeatedly) was "who are you". Not sure what they meant exactly but I suspect it was short for "who are you to have the temerity , you bunch of miserable scousers, to come and challenge us the FA Cup Holders and our expensive array of super stars. Fair enough I thought. Deserves a response.

We are Everton FC, our captain is Phil Neville and our home is Goodison Park.

Some of my fellow Evertonians have put it more succinctly (and I do not approve).

Blue Moon, he left them standing alone

Well done to Tim Cahill for doing us all a favour last Monday night by inspiring the Toffees to a 2-1 victory over Man City. Assisting Chelski and Spurs, he also did Everton's chances of surviving another year in the Premiership no harm.

This was Cahill's 28th headed goal in the Premiership, which keeps him well in front as the most prolific headed goalscorer since the commencement of the League in 1991. Quite a record for a midfielder who spent several of his earlier years playing in lower divisions.

Don't you love the way Joe Hart made himself "look big" for this one. Text-book goalkeeping. Bring back Shay Given.

Defending a free-kick

It's all a matter of where you position your handbag.

Sadly despite the higher jump by Kaboul in the lower picture, Baines still scored but at least our guys didn't look like the fannies over at the Emirates.

Just how hard was this man?

You have to admit, whether it was battering intruders in his house, head-butting policemen at taxi-ranks, or sorting out moaning defenders, Big Dunc had a rather direct style. Four convictions for assault, three months in jail and nine red cards over the course of his career are testimony to this approach.

A strong believer in keeping Everton at Goodison, his attempts at public debate on the matter with Brusselsblue were politely declined.

Quote Duncan:

"During my time at Everton, Goodison Park came to feel like a second home, with the supporters of the club, and the people of the city becoming a second family to me. If you were to take Everton out of the City, I firmly believe the club could no longer call itself the ‘People’s Club’ and I give my whole-hearted support to the campaign to keep Everton in the City."

And who's to argue against that?

A bridge too far

Everton's lowly position in the Premiership is attributable to their overdependence on their midfield and the inability of their forwards to rattle in a reasonable number of goals.

Jermaine Beckford is a case in point - looked smart around the higher levels of the First Division with Leeds, but a step up by two divisions was too much for him to take. Six weeks in and one penalty against Huddersfield to show for his endeavours, large questionmarks must be beginning to surface.

While we can point the finger at Beckford and his ilk, the real issue is Moyes who has to take the blame for continually bringing in below par performers to play up front or for being unable to instill the flexibility needed to allow the team to play in a manner not involving a packed midfield.

Jermaine Beckford, Andrew Johnson, James Beattie, The Yak, Louis Saha, and the list goes on and on. Big money signings who flopped - we all make mistakes I know - but the same one time and time again - I don't know. Everton need to rid themselves of this delusion that Moyes is a great manager working with limited resources - let's face it he's a plodder who needs to be shafted to allow the club return to its' expected position.