Keano, there's only half a Keano ......

After his unbelievable miss against Blackburn on Saturday, the boywonder explained clearly what happened.

'I wish I knew why I missed,' he told his manager, Avram Grant.

The West Ham boss added: 'Football is a game of chances. And then it's a game of using chances. All the season we are not using even 20 per cent of chances. And this is maybe the story of our year. Robbie is not happy. He came here to score. The last three games he had three big chances to score, but I cannot blame him that he doesn't work. I feel sorry for him, but he did everything good. But it doesn't count. He's a good lad. I don't have any intention to kill him.'

You're fuckin right Avram - none more so than the 10/3 miss at the City of Manchester Stadium. Sod your survival chances, that miss screwed up our winning betting streak. And by the way, please stay up cos' otherwise the Crumlin genius will be doing that for our reserves next season.

I, said the sparrow ......

Admittedly only Andorra but nevertheless......

There's was only one Keano

Top - Tim in action against Diomansy Kamara, followed by two photos of goal celebrations. Robbie continues run of poor form with a below par debut.

Meanwhile in London, Eidur Gudjohnson was seen at the Spurs training ground practicing with a bow and arrow.

Sadly, one was not enough.

This boy certainly knows how to do it for Ireland.

Could this man end the recession?

A couple more goals like this over the next five days and the recession is all over. Dancing in the streets, t-shirts in Dunnes Stores and cardboard cut-outs of the Boys in Green. Davy Keogh says hello.

Go for it Robbie - let's see the bow and arrow.

Don't ever tempt fate

There we were forecasting the Carling Cup results and Brusselsblue castigates Gerry for knee-jerkingly suggesting that the Spurs would beat the Toffees 2-0. And what happens - Huddlestone scores the first and Robbie gets out the bow and arrow and celebrates the second -2-0 to the yids.

I repeat what I have said for months - Gerry Coll = football genius. Made the last six in the Last Man Standing.

Robin Hood, Robin Hood, riding through the glen,
Robin Hood, Robin Hood, with his band of men,
Feared by the bad, loved by the good,
Robin Hood, Robing Hood.
(to the tune of Robin Hood, Robin Hood).

Watch this prick walk....

Despite the results from White Hart Lane and JJB Stadium, the best result of the weekend was at Portman Road as Newcastle routed the Keane-inspired (!!) Ipswich.

Hopefully with a few more results of this nature, the ignorant prick will do what he's best at by walking out on another team or club which "couldn't deliver to his high standards" - my fuckin arse.

It will make a nice trio - Ireland, Sunderland and then Ipswich - God if we're lucky he'll end up at United one day and destroy them too. Is that too much to ask - the King returns to the Evil Empire?

Remember there's only one Keano and he scores four goals.