Never thought I’d say this but I’m beginning to actually miss old Biffo.
This general election run-in has been so languid, listless and devoid of interest that you’d want the old codger back bumbling his way through drunken interviews, brazen press conferences, unapologetic speeches and generally stirring up untold shit to put a bit of life back into the country.
We were reasonably united as a nation and we were motivated in getting to the bottom of this mess when he was in charge but now it seems like no-one cares. I understand that the five lightweights are slugging it out (using wet newspapers to batter each other) and maybe the saddest part is that one of them is going to win.
Enda is doing everything in his power to keep his feet away from his mouth (well done to the Blueshirt handlers), Gilmore is morphing into the Michelin man – I’m half expecting him to ultimately turn to jelly - while Gerry Adams is playing a stormer in driving votes away from the Sinners with his staggering lack of grip on reality. Gormley is doing his best to ensure that the Greens will indeed be pushing up the green shoots of recovery very soon.
It seems like they are all incompetent once the common foe disappears. A problem with modern day politics I guess.
So Biffo, get your big fat arse back onto our TV’s and onto our papers cos we’re fed up contemplating life in the Endsleigh League with Mike Bassett as the manager. All is forgiven, you lovely, lovely toerag.
