In his inaugural speech, the new President called on the country's diaspora to get off their fat arses, to stop criticising the country from afar and to send back a load of loot to those less fortunate than them back in the old sod.
In return for this, he promised that we will continue to make black and white pudding and Tayto crisps, and will knit as many bawneen jumpers as you could shake a stick at.
The diaspora in Brussels were targeted as a potentially lucrative target bunch, with particular emphasis on those who spend shedloads of cash on bottles of Barolo in restaurants designed for "Ladies who Lunch".
