Bring tea for the tillerman

Terrible event during the week - got an emergency call and when I arrived home, the family were on the lawn, some of them crying, and the fire brigade and emergency services were outside the front door.

"What's happened?"

"Dad, it's absolutely horrible, Mum was emptying one of the cupboards upstairs and she found your collection of LP's - there were ones by Neil Diamond and Kris Kristofferson - some of them were even double albums. We're distraught"

"Shit" I said as I sidled up to Jill and muttered "I can explain".

"How could you have done this to us?" she said unforgivingly.

"You see it was back in the seventies and I got into it first in Rich Hudson's house - he used to have this cool record player where the needle stayed put and the LP revolved around the needle......"

She stared me between the eyes and shouted "Are you not happy with the damage you've done? Do you take me for a fool?"

The stuff we listened to.

Alternatively titled "Strewn across the floor at WalthamTerrace"