Boleyn Inn London EC4

How do we best describe Saturday afternoon in the Boleyn Inn?

A further experience in life’s rich tapestry; a near-death experience; a foolish decision we got away with or a good laugh and a chance to sing about bubbles as though they were central to our existence.

All of these I think.

Maybe it’s that we’re getting old and I can’t face this kind of thing anymore. My diminishing ability to

1. blend in with these people if needed
2. rationalise with them if 1 doesn’t work
3. run if 2 doesn’t work

may be influencing my decision but whatever way you look at it, Saturday’s experience is right up there is terms of dodgy moments I could have done without.   I also have to admit that with sparring partners in Chelski and Lise Le Meas, it was evident that most of us were going to be leading with our chins in any boxing matches which did break out.  I decided not to share my concerns with them just in case it unnerved them, thus making us stand out more than my Irish accent and grey hair was allowing.  Instead I sang the first verse of “I’m forever blowing bubbles” over and over again and tried to look as though I was there deliberately. And me missing my blood pressure tablets, fucking hell.

I still haven’t recovered.

This club does not deserve our Gerry

From the aggressive, sneering, cheating John Terry (what did I do ref?) to the barbaric, inane morons who label themselves as loyal fans, Chelsea football club has a lot wrong with it at present. It's probably to be expected in a club where money has been the only real currency for the past ten years, but it saddens me for the genuine, honest, and fair Chelsea supporters whose reputation has been tarnished by the activities of the few.

Where this issue causes me trouble personally is in defining my own attitude towards Chelsea - I don't dislike them as a football team - they are capable of superb performances like last night - and the Chelsea supporters I know are reasonable, unlike Manchester United fans (superior to us all), or Liverpool fans (obsessed with tradition and past glories); but as an institution I detest Chelsea - buying success in a vulgar manner while at the same time being unable to set appropriate standards for their players and their fans. Player power at it's extreme and in the worst hands.

I'm finding it hard to draw the line between being reasonable and being bigoted on this one.  Will someone please help me.

Season nearly done

Ok, it’s been a number of weeks since we blogged – things have been busy – but time to catch up on the games highs and lows, passes and fails over the last few weeks.

Lots to choose from:

Low – Tottenham’s Titanic-like fall from grace. We have gone from being a potential Premiership winner to a team that would struggle to survive in the Championship. Seems like Harry needs the adrenaline of a potential period behind bars to enable him to function best as a manager. Although to be fair he hasn’t been helped by the limp performances of some of his so—called superstars.

In summary - clear-out needed, take the money for Bale; let Chelski have Modric and move Harry on to the national old-folks home.

Low – Everton’s inability to beat Liverpool. It’s hard to understand how almost everyone else can beat Liverpool and Everton fail miserably every time it’s important. Their semi-final showing was appalling and then a week later they go and change the course of the title chase by drawing at Old Trafford.

In summary – get the behavioural studies guys in from NASA to try to understand the psychological impact on an Everton player of the words “Liverpool Football Club”.

High – Coventry’s relegation to Division 1. Coventry City is a team I loath and I have been wishing, praying and following their demise since 1987. To see them ignominiously drop into the old Division Three South is a joyous event but sadly one which most football observers outside the immediate area appear to have missed.

In summary – Churchill was right.

Fail – Bale, Young and the new English pretty boys. So sad to see the diving plague creeping into the English game or more correctly put, being adopted by British players. Gareth Bale and Ashley Young spring to mind although there are plenty of others. With both of these players having so much genuine talent, why do they resort to this particular brand off cheating?

In summary – cheat, cheat, cheat.

Fail – Drogba and his time wasting Once again an extremely talented player who fails to know how to behave. Five and a half minutes against Barcelona might have achieved the correct result but the sooner referees learn how to handle this particular brand of cheating the better.

In summary – let PSG come in for him during the summer and let’s watch him kiss the Chelsea badge then. His behaviour is more suited to the Continent.

Fail – The Chelsea fans at Wembley While we can (maybe) excuse them for the anti-Semitic behaviour at the semi-final, it’s hard to understand the mentality of the Chelsea fans who fail to observe the minutes silence before the game for the Hillsborough victims. One has to think that the club does not do enough to eradicate the fringe element that associates itself with the club.

In summary – call on all Chelsea fans in 65 English to write a 200 word essay on the divided loyalties of being associated with these guys and then post the treatise on CD&B. Get your arse on it, Gerry.

Others:

Fail – the Celtic fans bliss at the off-field problems at Rangers. Don’t they realise that the victory is entirely pyrrhic and that without at least one decent competitor, their own club / team will also go to shit?

Fail – Mancini at City. The spineless Mise le Meas scarfed look-alike brings back Tevez and tolerates Balotelli for long after it was appropriate. He should have told the board to mind their own business.

Pass – Roberto Martinez – miracle-worker at Wigan and all-round nice guy. Deserves to stay up.